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Joke 3
: HOW TO PLEASE YOUR I.T. DEPARTMENT
(A quick
check list for those who need to make contact.)
1. When
you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave
it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed
animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art.
We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch
a fleeting glimpse of yours.
2. Don't
write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages
from here.
3. When
an I.T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee.
That way you won't be there when we need your password. It's
nothing for us to remember 700 screen saver passwords.
4. When
you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping
you from getting it. We don't need to know that you can't
get into your mail because your computer won't power on at
all.
5. When
I.T. support sends you an E-Mail with high importance, delete
it at once. We're just testing.
6. When
an I.T. person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in
and spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.
7. Send
urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up
and flags it as a rush delivery.
8. When
the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support. There's
electronics in it.
9. When
you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home, call computer
support. We can fix your telephone line from here.
10. When
you have a dozen old computer screens to get rid of, call
computer support. We're collectors.
11. When
something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an I.T. person's
chair with no name, no phone number and no description of
the problem. We love a puzzle.
12. When
an I.T. person tells you that computer screens don't have
cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.
13. When
an I.T. person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply
in a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you
mean by shortly?" That motivates us.
14. When
the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times.
Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.
15. When
the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job
to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to
work.
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